I've got this!

OK, so after my last post about marathon training, I spent the next few days consumed with fear.  I read other bloggers' accounts of the marathons they have completed with panic rising in my chest.  I let my mind run wild with self-doubt and negative questions. What did I sign up for?!  Why would I ever think I could actually do this?  I don't even want to run for 26.2 miles!

But then, as these things tend to work out, the clouds parted and I began to feel OK again.  It didn't happen immediately, but over a period of a few days I began to feel better.  I stopped reading the race recaps on my favorite blogs with fear and read them with excitement instead.  I began to talk to my friends who are also running the VT marathon, and I started to imagine myself crossing that finish line on race day.  Then, last Saturday, I ran my 12 mile long run.  It was pretty cold outside and very windy.  I ran with three other women that I run with regularly, two of whom are also regsitered for the VT marathon.  One is a first-timer like me and the other has completed two other marathons.  So, we met early on Saturday and pounded out 12 miles.  Seriously, we pounded them out.  It wasn't overly difficult, even though the wind was brutal, and I didn't struggle with the run at any point.  It was just a typical weekend long run.  Later in the day, one of my running buddies sent me a text telling me that she felt surprisingly good after the run, and I replied with "me too!"  And, that's when it all came together for me.  Over the past 2.5 years, I have been building myself up as a runner.  I have gone from running 1.5 miles with great difficulty to being permanently trained for a half marathon (that was my goal last year and I accomplished it).  At this point, I can easily run 11 - 13 miles on a weekend long run and not even feel it.  That's quite an accomplishment in 2.5 years.  So, there's no reason to doubt my ability to run 26.2.  Will it be tough?  I'm sure it will.  Will I struggle?  I'm sure I will.  Can I do it?  Absolutely!

So much of half and full marathon training is mental.  If you put in the miles each week, your body will be able to make it through the distance at the end.  But, training is more than physically training your body.  It's really about training your mind.  Ask anyone who has struggled through an "easy" three mile run.  There is so much doubt that creeps into your mind when you are training for something like this.  There are so many moments on a long (or short) run when you feel like you can't keep going.  When you doubt yourself as a runner.  Those are the moments that we dig deeper and find something in ourselves that we thought wasn't there.  There's no greater feeling than finishing a difficult run and knowing that you kept running even when you felt like you couldn't.  Sure, there are plenty of physical struggles that runners endure - calf cramps, side cramps, knee pain, dehydration, bathroom issues, etc. - but the mental challenges are the ones that shake us at our core.  Those are the challenges that require us to go deep inside ourselves and find something that will help us endure.  That something is different for everyone, but the challenge is the same.

I know that I will continue to struggle through the rest of my marathon training.  I will have bad runs and good runs. I will have days when I am terrified about the upcoming race and  days when I can't wait for it to get here.  I will continue to doubt myself and be plagued with negative thoughts.  But, I will also discover a strength in myself that I don't always remember is there.  I will push myself to the edge, and find a way to keep going.  I will embrace my mental demons and find ways to overcome them.  By the time I cross that finish line, I know that I will be better because of it...all of it...the good and bad.  That's what running has done for me.  It has taught me to persevere and face my fears head on.  It has taught me that I am capable.  It has taught me that the struggle is part of the journey and that it is up to me to carry on.

The Year of the Marathon

Yes, I am still writing.  I'm easing in slowly as I figure out where I'm going with this blog.  I do know that the name and domain is going to change, but I'm not sure when.  I'm taking things one step at a time.  In fact, that's how I'm living the rest of my life right now.  I'm in the process of researching and planning for some (hopefully) big changes that will allow me to actually do what I want to do.  But, it's going to be a long process (1 - 2 years), so I'm learning to take things one step at a time.  It requires a lot of legwork and planning, so I'm focusing on that right now.  For me, 2013 is definitely the year of refocusing, planning and moving forward.  I feel so excited and nervous about the direction I'm going.  It's exactly what I need to be doing.

On the health and fitness front, 2013 is shaping up to be a pretty big year as well.  It's the year I'm finally going to complete a full marathon! This one, in fact:

The Vermont City Marathon was featured in the January 2013 Runner's World marathon guide as being a great fast, family friendly race.  I had already registered for the marathon when the article came out, but I was excited to see that I made the right choice.  Burlington, VT is about 50 minutes away, so it's an easy race for me to get to.  

I'm already registered and the training plan is attached to my refrigerator.  I'm already a few weeks in and I'm already experiencing all of the emotions that come along with training for something new and exciting and BIG!  I'm fluctuating between complete fear and total confidence.  I'm constantly questioning how I'm going to run for 26.2 miles while simultaneously envisioning myself crossing the finish line.  But, most of all, I just keep reminding myself that each distance has seemed daunting when I first set out to conquer it.  After all, I think I was most nervous about my first 5K.

Wow...look how far I've come.

The other day, one of my facebook friends posted the following inspirational picture and I immediately shared it with others.  This is exactly how I am feeling right now.  I know it's time for me to conquer the marathon, even if many of my waking moments are spent doubting my ability to actually do so.

That's the beauty of this sport.  There are tangible results that go beyond body size or weight loss.  There's the excitement of running a new distance for the first time.  There's the feeling of fulfilment you get after completing an event that you were terrified of completing (Ragnar, anyone?).  There's the constant knowledge that if you just keep running, you'll reach a distance that at one point seemed impossible.

So, this is it.  The year that I conquer the marathon.  I'm sure I'll be talking about it a lot in this space.  I hope you don't get sick of me :)

I'm not afraid

Consistently Inconsistent.  That's me...or at least my blogging.  But, unlike before, I'm not going to fret about it.  I have lots to say, and I'm going to put it out there for you to read.  But, I can't commit to a schedule and that's OK.  Posts will appear as I have the time/energy/motivation to write them.  This is my "crazy"time at work, and I'm definitely feeling it.  Which means some of the other things in my life will receive less attention.  Since I'm not willing to allow that to be my children or husband or my own health and fitness, things like blogging and TV watching are the logical victims.  I'm still eating healthy and exercising, and I have a lot of posts half-written in my head.  Soon enough, I'll commit them to paper screen.  On the plus side, I'll have a ton of posts in October when I finally begin catching up :)

The big fitness focus right now is training for Ragnar.  I suddenly realized it is only two weeks away, and I'm starting to feel that familiar anxious feeling I get whenever an event gets close.  Do you guys get that too?  I know that I'll be able to physically do it, but I'm still a ball of nerves and anticipation.  This event is a big "out of my comfort zone" event, and I know it will result in some sort of personal growth.  But, with growth comes fear.  Honestly, I'm more worried about the in-between stuff than I am about the three runs I have to do.  I know I can handle those.  What I'm concerned about is how I will handle sharing space with six other people during the 30 hour time frame.  I don't think I have ever mentioned it on here, but I have an intense fear of other people throwing up.  I know it's weird, but it's true.  I totally panic and freak out.  So, I'm already nervous that someone in my group will get sick in the van...seriously, I'm so nervous that it is something I'm thinking about each day.  So, for me, this part of the event is much more challenging than the running part.  But, as one of my favorite people once said:

Do one thing every day that scares you

                                      -Eleanor Roosevelt

So, I'm embracing my fear and using Ragnar as an opportunity to grow.  I know there will be scary and intense moments that take me out of my comfort zone, and that's exactly what I need.  There is always opportunity for personal growth, and we need to seize those opportunities.  So, I'm seizing mine.  Let's just hope I continue to remember that as I wait for September 28th to get here.

So, what are you going to do today that scares you?

Taking it up a notch

So, in an attempt to prepare for the craziness that is Ragnar: Adirondacks, I have upped my training.  This morning, I ran with some of my teammates up a massive hill.  We went up three miles and then came back down for a total of six miles.  Since Ragnar is full of steep hills (remember, it's through the mountains), we figured we should start doing some serious hill work.  This fit the bill!

I actually really enjoyed it.  There's something very therapeutic about running straight uphill for three miles.  It definitely makes you feel tough.

If that wasn't enough, I added another component to my training.  I started running more than once throughout the day.  Normally, I just run once every day or so.  But, Ragnar requires me to run three different legs, each about 10 hours apart.  I need to be able to run three times in a day and a half.  So, after the brutal hill work this morning, I added a second evening run.  I ran six miles this morning and three miles this evening.  It wasn't so bad...except for the intense heat.  I really dislike running in the heat.

Now that I'm adding more intense training to my schedule, I'm even more excited about Ragnar.  It's going to be tough, but I know I can do it, and that's a great feeling.

Wait...what did I agree to?!

A few months ago, in the midst of half marathon training, one of our running buddies sent an email to me and Paul asking us if we wanted to be part of a Ragnar Relay team.  I had never even heard of Ragnar, so I immediately went to the website to check it out.  For those of you who don't know, Ragnar is a 200 mile relay that is run by teams of 12 (or ultrateams of 6...I think you can probably guess what type of team I'm on :))  over the course of approximately 30 - 36 hours.  It sounded fun, so we both agreed.  Paul was especially excited and has been doing all sorts of Ragnar planning ever since.  He and the woman who sent the original invite are co-captains.  So, there is a lot of Ragnar talk at my house.

Anyway, the way the race works is that each runner gets three legs of the course to run.  The legs are varying distances and difficulty levels and occur at all hours of the day...even in the middle of the night.  We're participating in Ragnar Adirondacks.  The race actually goes through the Adirondack mountains! 

So, I knew we would have some elevation to contend with.  But, I guess I have been in denial since we registered.  Since my legs range between 5.2 miles and 6.4 miles, I haven't worried too much.  That's the distance I run on a regular basis.  It's definitely doable for me.  But, I didn't think about the difficulty level of each of my "legs." (Do you see where this is going?)

Today, Paul and Staci set out to drive the entire course.  Luckily, the starting point is only about 2 hours from where we live, and the race ends about 45 minutes from where we live.  They wanted to see what we're in for and do some planning.

While they were driving the course, Paul and I were texting.  

It looks I'm in for a tough set of runs!  I guess I better start training!

Running around in circles...

I have been consistently running for two years.  During that time, I have averaged 3 - 5 runs a week.  I tend to do a few shorter runs each week and one "long" run each weekend.  I try to do some hill work on occasion, but hills really aggravate my ankle/tendon issue that I have because I'm an over pronator.  So, I don't do hills every week.  I try to vary my running workouts so that I build up my endurance and pace and have a nice variety of workouts.  However, during the past two years, I have NEVER included intervals in my running routine.  I always plan to, but I never seem to get around to it...until now. 

A couple of weeks ago, I joined one of my running buddies at the local high school track one beautiful morning and we ran sprints around the track.  I LOVED it.  It was really tough, but I felt great after and really felt like I got a different workout than I do when I run a consistent pace.  We switched between 400's and 800's with short rests in between.  I was surprised at how fast I was able to run the 400's.  The 800's were a different story.  I found myself slowing down significantly on the second lap around the track.  So, it looks like I have some work to do.  We are planning to meet every Friday morning at the track to do intervals, and I'm really excited to see how much progress I can make.  My goal is to be able to run a complete 800 without slowing down by the end of the summer. 

We ran this morning, and we stuck to 400's.

I was really impressed with my time/pace.  I was consistently under 7 minute miles the entire time, which is unbelievable to me since my average running pace is between 8:40 and 9:25 (depending on the distance of the run).  It was so much fun to be able to run that fast, even if it was for a brief period of time.  I can definitely see how intervals will help me improve my pace and build up my endurance.  I just wish I had started two years ago :)

National Running Day

Wow, I can't believe I didn't know today was National Running Day! Luckily, I ran 4 miles this morning with some of my co-workers.  Since I just found out, I'm not going to try to write a whole blog post about my running experience.  Instead, I'm going to repost one of the first posts I ever wrote.  I figure it's OK since I had (still have) very few readers back then.  So, here it is...

The Year I Became a Runner

(originally posted on July 4, 2011)

This morning, I had an incredible run.  It was hard and hot and left my entire body feeling tingly and refreshed.  For those of you who are runners, you know the kind of run I'm talking about.  For those of you who are non-runners, I can only say that the kind of run I had today is the reason why runners run.  We don't experience these runs everyday.  In fact, some days our runs just feel awful.  But, every once in a while, the stars align and we have a run that is so awesome that it makes us want to keep lacing up our shoes and hitting the road. 

The morning was warm and sunny, but not yet oppressively hot.  I set out on my own with my music and my garmin and let my feet guide me.  I only had about an hour, and I was able to hit 6.3 miles by the time I was done.  I came home tired, yet invigorated, and dripping with sweat.  The run was perfect.  It was the kind of run that makes you smile the entire time because you know how well it is going and you can tell that you're going to feel great when it is over. 

Toward the end of my run, I passed the twelve mile marker from my first half marathon and a smile crept across my face.  I remembered that day in April and how I felt when I hit mile 12.  I was so ready to be done, but I also knew that I was going to finish strong.  After months of training, I had made it almost all the way through 13.1 miles.  For me, this was one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.  I know there will be other half marathons (I'm signed up for one in October), but none will ever feel like my first.  Passing that mile marker made me think about my first half marathon, but it also made me think about the past year of my life - the year I became a runner. 

(At the finish line of my first half marathon)

Last July, in an effort to get in shape and lose the baby weight that I was still carrying around one year after my son, Bennett, was born, I began to exercise.  In the beginning, I went to the YMCA and used the elliptical machine.  However, a few weeks into my exercise routine, I wanted to do something different.  One morning, I put on my sneakers, grabbed my MP3 player and set out to run around my neighborhood.  I had always wanted to be a runner and had tried to start running many times over the past decade.  Unfortunately, the frustration of not being able to run long distances right away always caused me to stop before I developed any endurance. 

For some reason, this morning in the end of July was different.  I struggled the entire run (1.6 miles), but I somehow found the determination to keep going.  I mean, I did have moments where I thought I might actually die, but I found a way to keep moving my feet.  I might have been barely shuffling at some points, but I kept running.  Through it all, I had a constant dialogue going in my head.  I reminded myself that I gave birth to two children without any pain medication, and I didn't have the option of stopping during that process (even though I wanted to at points).  I told myself that running isn't supposed to be easy, or everyone would do it.  I contemplated giving up, but something kept me going.  I knew if I could make it around my neighborhood without stopping, I would continue on as a runner.  Something just clicked that day, and I have been running ever since. 

In those first few weeks, I struggled each time I ran and thought of just giving up many times, but I kept going.  I laced up my sneakers, grabbed my music, and went running.  I was able to add more distance to my runs, and it was an amazing feeling to see the mileage increase.  It was tangible results.  Instead of measuring my progress by pounds lost or dress sizes dropped, I was measuring my progress by how far and how often I was running.  Then, one day it happened.  In conversation with someone else, I called myself a runner, and I haven't been the same since. 

Today, I ran 6.3 miles and it was an incredible run.  But, it's not the farthest I have run and it wasn't even the most incredible run I have ever had.  Over the past year, I have gone from running 1.6 miles to running 13.1 miles.  I have run 5K races and a half marathon.  I have run in intense humidity, rain, snow, sleet and 5 degree weather.  I have run on indoor tracks and treadmills, and I have run on the open road.  I have had runs that made me feel incredible and I have had runs that made me feel miserable.  Through it all, my love for running has grown

(Finishing my first 5K)

I love running because it allows me to see life, and myself, differently.  I am more capable of getting through challenges because of the mental endurance that I have built through running.  I am more physically fit and able to play with my children because of the physical endurance that I have developed.  But, more than any of that, I am more aware of who I am because of running.  It gives me time to think and reflect on my life.  When I come home from a run, I am more grounded and patient, which makes my entire family happy.  Sometimes, I question why I keep running during a particularly bad run or when I am in a running rut.  However, runs like the one I had today always remind me why I do.  Every time I lace up my shoes, I have the possibility of having the perfect run.  That's what runners strive for, whether we run 5K's or ultramarathons.

This past year, I became a runner.  I plan to be one for as long as my legs will keep going.

Insanity: Week 1

Well...I survived...barely.  Seriously, Insanity is, well, INSANE!  I'm not usually a workout video person.  I tend to buy them and then I never actually do them.  But, Insanity is different.  Maybe it's because Paul is so into it, but I don't think so.  I think it's just because they're really great...in a make you cry and beg for mercy sort of way.

OK, I admit it, I have always been one of those people who watched the Insanity commercial with a lot of skepticism.  I thought it was just another fad like Tae Bo.  So, when Paul told me he wanted to get the videos, I laughed a little inside.  I mean, I can run 13 miles at a time.  How was a 35 minute video going to transform my body?  But, as is often the case, Paul was right and I was wrong.  I hate to admit it, but it's true.

Insanity is AWESOME!  The videos are really tough and I have soreness in muscles I didn't even know existed.  I'm already feeling more "firm" after just one week.  I can't wait to see how my body transforms over the next seven weeks.

So, I'm going to post an update each week.  Sunday is my rest day from the videos, so that's when I'll recap the week.  I'm going to post pictures every two weeks for comparison and give updates on my progress.

Here's week number 1!

BEFORE PICTURES:

I know I'm in great cardiovascular shape, but I have no muscle tone.  My hope is that Insanity will help me get rid of the padding and add some muscle.  (Ignore the poor quality of these pictures.  The lighting was completely off.)

 See that gut?  That's what happens when you grow two babies, especially one that is just shy of 9 pounds and 22 inches long.  It's a good thing I love them, because those two kids sure did a number on my body.



The workouts are intense.  I have never sweat so much in my life.  By the end of the workout, I'm drenched and ready to collapse.

But I'm also so happy.  I love how I feel when I finish!

So, I'm definitely an Insanity convert.  I highly recommend the videos.  I'm excited to see what the next few weeks bring.  Next Sunday, I'll have an update and progress pictures.  Stay tuned!

A 5K PR!

Today, Paul and I participated in a local 5K.  It was a fundraiser in memory of a young woman who died in a car accident.  The family organizes it every year and uses the money to fund a scholarship in her name.  We ran last year as well.

I have been running a bit faster the past few weeks and went into the 5K hoping to finish somewhere between 27 and 28 minutes.  Lately, I have been running an average 9:03 pace on my five mile runs, with at least two or three miles in the 8:45 - 8:59 range.  So, I knew I could do it.  But, the 5K distance is tough for me.  It usually takes me at least 2 - 3 miles to really get into the groove of running.  But, I still went into the run with a goal of getting a new PR.

This was only my third 5K.  I usually stick to the longer distances.  My first 5K was three months after I started running.  I was so proud of myself for finishing the run because I had never been a runner before.  I was so nervous about being able to run the entire time and I didn't care about my finishing time at all.  I finished in 32:16.  I was so proud of myself that day!

My second 5K was this same 5K in May 2011.  I had just completed my first half marathon a few weeks prior and was feeling much more confident as a runner.  I ran with Paul, who had just started running in January.  My goal was to get him through his first 5K and finish under 30 minutes.  We finished in 29:52.

So, what was my time for today?  26:32!  I can't believe it!  I beat my goal time.  I'm so happy about my new PR and excited to see if I can get even faster.  When I look at how far I have come since I started running in July 2010, I can't help but smile.  I spent years wishing I could be a runner and I finally became one!

It's pretty simple.  All you have to do is decide that you want something and then do whatever it takes to make it happen.  Sure, sometimes it's tough and feels almost impossible, but it can be done.  Don't believe me?  Watch this video.  If this doesn't motivate and inspire you, nothing will.

Moving Around

As someone who exercises approximately 5 days a week, I feel like I move around a lot.  But, after reading Janetha's post and new challenge for the month of May, I realized that I'm actually more sedentary than I like to admit.

Sure, I exercise for about 1 hour each day...but, that's one hour out of 24!  If I look at an actual day, I spend a lot of time sitting down:

Work = 8 hours at a computer/desk or in meetings.  Sure, I walk around some, but a lot of my time is spent sitting down.

Home = After preparing dinner, we sit and eat for about 30 - 40 minutes.  Then after cleaning up, I sit with the kids and help Amelia with her homework and color/draw/write the ABC's with Ben.  After that, we relax as a family and then it's time to get the kids ready for bed.  Once they're ready, we all lay in bed together and read, and then each kid goes to bed.  I lay with Ben while he (and sometimes I) falls asleep.  After that, I head downstairs, where Paul and I clean up and pack lunches for the next day.  Then, we spend the rest of the night sitting on the couch working on our computers/talking/watching TV.  After that, we go to bed.

So, when you look at an actual day, I don't move a lot.  On the weekends we move much more because we're constantly on the go and we like to do active/physical things as a family.  But, five out of seven days, I spend a lot of time sitting.

I know it's healthy and essential to move around a lot, which is why I'm so excited about Janetha's May challenge.  Instead of getting more exercise, Janetha wants us to move more throughout the day.  Here's what she says in her post:

i want you to move more in may, too! each day, i would like you to comment on the move more in may challenge page telling me how you moved that day OUTSIDE OF YOUR OFFICIAL DAILY WORKOUT.  yes, that’s right, we aren’t counting our workouts for this challenge.  that’s the whole point—we are already moving during our workouts. this is for all the other moves of the day.  be creative. try something different.


Janetha is actually giving prizes each week, which is an added incentive! 

My plans include getting up from my desk at least once an hour and walking from my office on the 5th floor to the first floor.  I also plan to take a walk at lunch time to stretch my legs, get my blood flowing and enjoy some great conversation with co-workers I rarely see.  I also want to start walking the dog as a family in the evenings and start playing in the backyard more after dinner.  Now that's it's getting warmer and nicer, this will be very easy to do.

If you think you need to move more, head over to Janetha's blog and read about her challenge.  I think we could all add a little more movement to our days!

Plattsburgh Half Marathon: A PR and an Adventure!

So, today was the half marathon and I'm happy to report that I finished strong in spite of major calf cramping the last two miles.  This is the first half marathon I ever ran (last April), so it has a special place in my heart.   It's a great course and I just love the whole vibe of the race.   It's a local race for me, which makes it even better.

This was my third half marathon, and I have to admit that I went into this one with a lot of anxiety and self-doubt.  It's strange, because I was more nervous than I was the first time I ran a half marathon.  I finally figured out that it was because my last half marathon was a pretty awful one.  I started out strong but ended up walking most of the last mile because of severe leg cramping, and my final time was actually 9 minutes slower than my first half marathon.  So, I think I had some fear that I would have the same problems again this time.

I started out really strong this time and felt confident most of the run.  This half had a relay, so I was able to see my time at the halfway point.  When I ran through the relay exchange, the clock said 1:00:15, and I was elated.  For me, this was a fantastic time.  It meant I was actually running faster than I thought.  The second half of the run was great...until I hit mile 11.  Just like my last half, my calves started to cramp up.  I ran the last two miles with charlie horses in both of my legs.  It wasn't fun.  But, unlike last time, I made myself keep running.  I knew that if I stopped I would never start running again.  So, I reduced my speed, found my groove and just kept running.  It wasn't the most enjoyable experience, and I had to do a lot of bargaining with myself and give myself a lot of motivational talks during those last two long miles.  But, in the end, I was OK.  I didn't stop to walk and I crossed the finish line feeling strong and proud.  My time was 2:07 (still waiting for the exact chip time).  Last year, I ran the same race in 2:13:37, so this was an improvement for me.  It was also a PR!  I feel good about my results, even though I was secretly hoping to be under 2:05.  If my legs hadn't cramped the last two miles, I would have met my secret goal.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have to train better for the next one.

So, that's the first half of my post, but what is the adventure part of all this, you ask?

Well, I didn't wear my Garmin during the race.  I know this might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but it's huge for me.  I'm a bit addicted to my Garmin.  I need to use it so I can know at all times how far and fast I'm running.  Quite honestly, I think sometimes it does more harm than good.  So, since I was already feeling anxious about this run, I decided t leave my watch at home and just listen to my body.  I ran the whole 13.1 miles paying attention to the cues my body was giving me and reassured myself that I would run the half in the amount of time that my body was capable of running.  Other than the time clock at the halfway point, I had no idea how fast I was running.  It was actually really liberating.  Sometimes I become fixated on my watch and ruin my run because I put too much pressure on myself.  I really liked running without it today.  So, I think I'm going to leave it at home more often.  I'm still going to use it...just not for every run.

Taper Week

It feels kind of funny to "taper" during the week before a half marathon, but I know it's important to rest my legs, so I'm doing a modified taper.  I only ran 7 miles this past Saturday (with an overall pace of 9:11, which is astounding!), and my mid-week runs are shorter, slower and less frequent.  I used the elliptical on Sunday to give my running legs a rest.  Yesterday, I ran with two of my co-workers.  We only did 3.5 miles, but it still felt good to stretch my legs.  I have an early morning run scheduled for tomorrow and then I plan to do a short, 2 mile run on Saturday to stretch my legs and loosen them up before the race on Sunday.

So, I'm hoping my legs will be nice and fresh on Sunday.  Last year, I ran this race in 2:13.  I'm hoping to beat my time this year, and I really want to be under 2:10.  Anything more than that will just be an extra bonus.  Let's see if all of my hard work will pay off.

Now, if I could just change the weather forecast for Sunday...

My First Adventure

As you know, I signed up to participate in Janetha's Adventurous April Challenge.  Unfortunately, I was not able to accomplish my goals the first week due to way too many unforeseen circumstances.  And, I was barely able to squeeze it in this week.  But, today, the last day of the week, I finally did something that I have always wanted to do.  It's not a big deal, but it's still something new to me.

I finally used the Precor AMT trainer at my gym.  For the past year, I have been watching people use it and I have always wanted to give it a try.  But, for some reason, I have been completely intimidated.  I didn't want to look stupid while I tried to figure it out.  I was worried that it would be too hard.  I felt like I should just stick with my favorite machine: the elliptical.

But, today I went to the gym with the plan already in place.  I knew I was slacking on the Adventurous April challenge, and I wanted to end the week with at least one new thing under my belt.  So, I woke up this morning and decided that today was going to be the day that I was going to tackle the AMT.

So, after a year of building it up in my mind, how did it go, you ask.  Well...it wasn't as great as I thought it would be.  I figured it out pretty quickly and I used it for a while.  It gave me a good workout, but I still prefer my beloved elliptical.  It just felt awkward.  But, I realize that it could be because I'm not used to it, so I'm going to give it another chance.  I just don't see it becoming a regular part of my workout routine.

I have big plans for my new adventures this week, so check back next Sunday for a full report (oh, and a half marathon report as well since next Sunday is my half marathon).

Hope you are all having fun adventures of your own!

So close...

So, lately I have been working on this little thing called a thesis.  You know, the last thing I have to do before I can graduate with my Master's Degree in History.  I am in the process of working through my thesis advisor's recommendations and making final edits.  Every night, my dining room table looks like this.

This is actually my second thesis.  I already have a master's degree in administration, which I completed many years ago.  And, just like childbirth, I somehow forgot how involved (and painful) the process is.  But, also how worth it it is in the end.  I may not be creating life, but I am creating something pretty big.  I have immersed myself in the research process and it has been a large part of my life for the past few months.  I'm so excited to be done, but at the same time I'm sad to be done.  I know that doesn't make much sense, but this really is bittersweet for me.  I have been so involved in researching and writing about my topic - the Back to the Land movement - and I'm going to feel so disconnected when I'm not looking for sources or staying up way too late so I can just finish writing one more section.

It looks like I will be submitting my final draft by the middle of next week, which means I will be graduating on May 19th.  I'm so excited.  It's so close, but I still feel like I have so much to do.

But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep
                         - Robert Frost

Learning the Ropes

So, I have this thing coming up the first weekend in August...you know, my first triathlon.  Anyway, I feel nervous and excited about the whole thing.  It's not a huge tri.  The swim is 1/2 a mile, the bike is 18 miles and the run is 4 miles.  But, it's still my first and I'm taking it very seriously.

Even though the event is still months off, I'm trying to slowly prepare for it.  I recently start swimming once a week and I'm quickly learning all the rules.  I find swimming intimidating.  Not the act of swimming.  I'm actually a pretty strong swimmer.  It's the whole public pool thing.  First of all, I'm pretty freaked out by public pools.  I think they're really gross.  But, I know that I have to use one if I'm going to train for the tri.  After all, it's still winter in Upstate NY, and I don't think a swim in the lake would be a very good idea, even if we are having unseasonably warm temperatures.  Also, I'm really intimidated by all of the other swimmers who are in the pool during lap swim time...especially when I have to share a lane with someone because it's too busy, which seems to happen a lot.  A few weeks ago I showed up at the pool and all of the lanes were in use.  It was the first time I experienced a full pool.  I didn't want to ask someone if I could share a lane, so I just turned around and went home.  Then, I stayed away from the pool for a couple of weeks.  I found reasons (excuses) not to swim.  Obviously, this won't work for me if I want to build up my swimming endurance.  So, this Saturday I went to the pool prepared to confront my fears about lane sharing.  I had a little pep talk with myself on the way there.  What, you don't talk to yourself on the way to the gym?  Oh well, I guess we all have our quirks.  When I got to the pool, all of the lanes were in use.  So, I just stood there clutching my swim cap and goggles and stared nervously at the pool.  Luckily, at that moment a woman got out.  I thought I was going to get away free and clear, but she was just getting a kick board to swim with.  I took it as my opportunity and walked up to her and asked if I could share a lane.  She smiled and said "Of course."  I felt so much better and realized it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

During my swim, I had to pay attention to her and make sure I wasn't crowding her.  At first, it felt awkward.  But, over time we got into a groove and I ended up having a really great swim.  So, I guess I can figure all of this out.  One thing is certain, the next time I go to the pool, I won't feel nervous if all of the lanes are full.

Be Strong

I work out 4 - 6 times a week and consider myself to be in pretty good shape.  After all, I can run 13.1 miles without dying.  However, while my cardiovascular health is great, my muscle tone leaves something to be desired.  Even though I exercise 4 - 6 times each week, I only do cardio.  My workouts typically involve running, elliptical, or swimming (only recently in preparation for my tirathlon). 

I actually wear the smallest size pants I have worn since I was in high school (you know, when I had an eating disorder).  I eat healthy and work hard to stay fit.  But, I'm not actually as fit as I think I am.  My body is flabby.  I have a pretty big gut as a result of two pregnancies. 

They were completely worth it!

My arms jiggle and my thighs still have a lot of "extra" on them. 

Please don't get me wrong.  I'm proud of my body.  I'm proud that it is able to maintain the demands I put on it each week.  I'm proud that it carried, birthed and nourished two children so well.  I'm proud of how I look and who I am.  But, I still feel like I need to do something about my muscules.  Not because I want to be smaller or because I want toned abs.  I want to start strength training because I want my body to be stronger.  Even though I can run for 13.1 miles, I still struggle to lift moderately heavy objects.  So, I'm going to make a committment to start strength training. 

I'm trying to decide what I actually want to do for strength training, but I have it narrowed down to the following three options:

Cross Fit
We don't have a cross fit center here, so I would have to find my own exercises online and create my own routine

Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer
This is the program Janetha raves about and it looks awesome!

Standard Gym weights
I used to do some strength training, and I always used the free weights and some of the resistance machines at the gym.  I'm considering doing this again.  We have a weight room at work and I could do some strength training on my lunch hour.

So, those are my three options.  I'm going to do a little more research before I decide for sure, but I don't want to take too long.  I need to start doing this soon!

I'm also going to start adding yoga to my exercise routine.  I think yoga will help me build muscle and reduce stress.  I have time early in the mornings, before the kids get up and start the day, so I think I'll start doing a half an hour of yoga each day.

So, that's the next phase in becoming healthier and stronger.  I'm so excited to start!

I didn't even make it out of the gate!

Yeah, so, day one of being sugar free was a flop.  But, I'm not going to beat myself up over it.  I'm going to learn from the experience and move forward.  Actually, if I'm being honest with myself, most of the day was a huge success, it was just the end of the day that was a problem. 


I craved sweets at various times throughout the day and I was able to satisfy my cravings with dried fruit. 

After dinner, I so badly wanted to eat the double chocolate chip cookies that I baked for everyone else, but I resisted. 

It wasn't until tonight at my PTA meeting that I caved.  One of the other parents brought these incredible desserts for the group, and I felt bad saying no.  She was so excited to feed us, and I felt so bad refusing.  So, I ate some...and then I ate some more.  I will say, it was worth it.  These desserts were incredible!  But, I still feel guilty.  Although, now that I'm typing it out, I think I need to turn my thinking around.  Sure...I gave in and ate some sugar at the end of the day, but I was able to successfully avoid it the rest of the day.  For me, that is success.  Today wasn't completely sugar-free, but it was better that it could have been. 

And...tomorrow's a brand new day.

Change of Plans (before I even make them)

Sooooo.......

In my last few posts, I alluded to the fact that this is the year I am going to run a marathon.  I even chose the Vermont City Marathon as "The One."  However, I think my plans might be changing slightly.  Paul has been suffering through a severe IT band injury and he is just starting to run short distances after a three week hiatus.  Since the VT marathon is in May, we have decided to put those plans on hold.  I just want his leg to heal completely without the pressure of training for our first marathon.  So, we're going to plan for a different marathon...possibly late fall or early next year.

Why wait so long, you ask?  Well, the calendar is pretty full with other fun, crazy events, including my first triathlon and a 200 mile relay.  That's right, we're going to join the crazies and run one of those overnight relay races.  The Adirondack Ragnar Relay is scheduled for September 28 - 29, which means that an early fall marathon is out.  My first triathlon is scheduled for the beginning of August, and since I can barely swim at all right now, I think I will need to focus on training for that after our half marathon in April.  So, we're still trying to find a marathon in the second half of the year that fits into our already packed schedule.  But, if we don't, I'm OK with waiting until the beginning of 2013 to run my first marathon.  After all, how often are these 200 mile relay races held within 100 miles of my hometown?

The Year Ahead (and behind)

As each new year begins, I like to take time to reflect on the past year and think about all of the different things that have happened...good and bad.  I don't wait until the clock strikes midnight.  Instead, I spend the weeks leading up to New Year's Day with the thoughts of the past year running through my mind.  I tend to do this while running, driving in the car, or taking a shower (the best places and times to think, if you ask me).  It allows me to think about everything that I have done individually and that my family has experienced so that I remain grateful for everything I (we) have and also motivated to accomplish and experience more.  As I'm reflecting, I am also thinking ahead.  I try to think about the things I want to accomplish in the upcoming year and I begin to make a mental list of the things I want to do in the next 365 days.  I don't make resolutions, but I do make plans.  I think about what I want to focus on for myself and my family.  I think about the physical challenges I want to undertake (did someone say marathon?).  And, I think about the professional and personal enrichment goals I want to achieve.  After a few weeks of reflection and planning, I am able to start the New Year with a solid set of plans for myself and goals for the year.  By taking the time to think about all I have accomplished over the past year, I am able to start the new year with hope and excitement and a feeling of pride and accomplishment, rather than with a sense of desperation and anxiousness.  I do not see January 1st as a point to change my life and make it better.  It's already great.  I see January 1st as an opportunity to set some goals and make some fun plans for the year ahead.  It's a chance to challenge myself to face my fears, do something new, and step further out of my comfort zone.  I am always growing and evolving, and each year just brings new opportunities and experiences.

So, after so many weeks of reflection and planning, I have the following goals for myself:

1) Learn to knit
2) Learn to hula hoop (and make my own hoop)
3) Make pasta from scratch
4) Learn Italian (at least start)
5) Go hiking with my family more
6) Spend more quality time with my girlfriends
7) Go on a real date with Paul once a month
8) Play more games with the kids
9) Spend more time each weekend doing fun things with the kids and less time cleaning and running errands
10) Make homemade bagels
11) Start paying off debt and create (and stick to) a household budget
12) Plant gardens - lots of them
13) Run a marathon (more on this in my next post)
14) Complete a triathlon (with my Dad!)
15) Finish my thesis (almost done!)
16) Make baklava
17) Make homemade pierogies
18) Increase my running pace
19) Start writing a book (more on this later)
20) Pursue freelance teaching, researching and writing opportunities
21) Take a writing course
22) Travel more (and to new places)
23) Get the house more organized (I'm soooooo glad I have pinterest for this one)
24) Incorporate strength training into my fitness routine
25) Start doing yoga

It's a pretty good starting point.  Quite honestly, I see these lists as an ongoing work in progress.  As the year unfolds, I'm sure my interests will change and new opportunities will present themselves.  I'm always ready to add new goals to my list.  So, here's to a happy, healthy, productive, and exciting 2012.  I know many bloggers out there are making big changes this year and taking on new challenges.  I'm excited to see where we all end up when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st. 

Are you ready?

Thinking Ahead...

Last week, one of my favorite bloggers, Emilie, wrote a fabulous post about being brave.  She encouraged us to consciously choose to do things that we are scared to do.  For her, this means tackling a Half Ironman (I know you'll do great, Emilie!).  Her post really resonated with me, as the past two years have really been about this for me.  Two years ago, I was too comfortable in my life. After some careful consideration, I realized that I kept making excuses for not doing things that I really wanted to do (run a half marathon) because deep down inside, I was afraid.  I vowed to work hard at becoming more confident and brave, and it has worked.  I started running and completed my first half marathon last April, even though the thought of doing it terrified me the entire time I was training for it. I will never forget the way I felt as I crossed that finish line.  When I replied to Emilie's post, this is what I wrote:

This is a great post that came at just the right time. After two half marathons and some random 5k's, I'm ready to move to the next level. I have a friend who is training for her first half marathon and I am so envious of her. That excitement and nervousness that accompanies the weeks of preparation. The giddiness of knowing that you are about to do something bigger than you have ever done before. I want that again. So, I'm in the process of firming up my big, scary plans for 2012. It looks like it will be the year of the marathon for me. I'm scared and excited all at once. I haven't decided on the exact marathon right now, but I have it narrowed down to a few in NY, VT, and ME. I'm going to make a final decision this week and commit. The second scary thing I'm going to do is complete a triathlon through our local YMCA. It's a small one (1/2 mile swim, 18 mile bike and 4 mile run), but it still scares me which is exactly why I want to do it. I am so intrigued by triathlons, and I know I need to do one. It's not the individual activities that scare me...it's the transitions in between. So, thank you for this reminder to be brave and confident. I'm working on doing it in other, non-athletic areas of my life as well. Here's hoping that 2012 is a wonderful year of accomplishments and growth for all of us!

So, that's where I am now.  I'm planning for 2012 as 2011 comes to a close.   I was looking at a lot of different marathons in NY, VT and ME, but I have decided that if I am going to do it, it's going to be the Vermont City Marathon.  I have been checking the site for the Vermont Marathon every day and it fills me with that nervous, sick, excited feeling, which means that it is exactly what I am ready for. And then, after the marathon is over, I will begin preparing to face my other fear...the triathlon.  I guess I better start swimming.