I've got this!

OK, so after my last post about marathon training, I spent the next few days consumed with fear.  I read other bloggers' accounts of the marathons they have completed with panic rising in my chest.  I let my mind run wild with self-doubt and negative questions. What did I sign up for?!  Why would I ever think I could actually do this?  I don't even want to run for 26.2 miles!

But then, as these things tend to work out, the clouds parted and I began to feel OK again.  It didn't happen immediately, but over a period of a few days I began to feel better.  I stopped reading the race recaps on my favorite blogs with fear and read them with excitement instead.  I began to talk to my friends who are also running the VT marathon, and I started to imagine myself crossing that finish line on race day.  Then, last Saturday, I ran my 12 mile long run.  It was pretty cold outside and very windy.  I ran with three other women that I run with regularly, two of whom are also regsitered for the VT marathon.  One is a first-timer like me and the other has completed two other marathons.  So, we met early on Saturday and pounded out 12 miles.  Seriously, we pounded them out.  It wasn't overly difficult, even though the wind was brutal, and I didn't struggle with the run at any point.  It was just a typical weekend long run.  Later in the day, one of my running buddies sent me a text telling me that she felt surprisingly good after the run, and I replied with "me too!"  And, that's when it all came together for me.  Over the past 2.5 years, I have been building myself up as a runner.  I have gone from running 1.5 miles with great difficulty to being permanently trained for a half marathon (that was my goal last year and I accomplished it).  At this point, I can easily run 11 - 13 miles on a weekend long run and not even feel it.  That's quite an accomplishment in 2.5 years.  So, there's no reason to doubt my ability to run 26.2.  Will it be tough?  I'm sure it will.  Will I struggle?  I'm sure I will.  Can I do it?  Absolutely!

So much of half and full marathon training is mental.  If you put in the miles each week, your body will be able to make it through the distance at the end.  But, training is more than physically training your body.  It's really about training your mind.  Ask anyone who has struggled through an "easy" three mile run.  There is so much doubt that creeps into your mind when you are training for something like this.  There are so many moments on a long (or short) run when you feel like you can't keep going.  When you doubt yourself as a runner.  Those are the moments that we dig deeper and find something in ourselves that we thought wasn't there.  There's no greater feeling than finishing a difficult run and knowing that you kept running even when you felt like you couldn't.  Sure, there are plenty of physical struggles that runners endure - calf cramps, side cramps, knee pain, dehydration, bathroom issues, etc. - but the mental challenges are the ones that shake us at our core.  Those are the challenges that require us to go deep inside ourselves and find something that will help us endure.  That something is different for everyone, but the challenge is the same.

I know that I will continue to struggle through the rest of my marathon training.  I will have bad runs and good runs. I will have days when I am terrified about the upcoming race and  days when I can't wait for it to get here.  I will continue to doubt myself and be plagued with negative thoughts.  But, I will also discover a strength in myself that I don't always remember is there.  I will push myself to the edge, and find a way to keep going.  I will embrace my mental demons and find ways to overcome them.  By the time I cross that finish line, I know that I will be better because of it...all of it...the good and bad.  That's what running has done for me.  It has taught me to persevere and face my fears head on.  It has taught me that I am capable.  It has taught me that the struggle is part of the journey and that it is up to me to carry on.

The Year of the Marathon

Yes, I am still writing.  I'm easing in slowly as I figure out where I'm going with this blog.  I do know that the name and domain is going to change, but I'm not sure when.  I'm taking things one step at a time.  In fact, that's how I'm living the rest of my life right now.  I'm in the process of researching and planning for some (hopefully) big changes that will allow me to actually do what I want to do.  But, it's going to be a long process (1 - 2 years), so I'm learning to take things one step at a time.  It requires a lot of legwork and planning, so I'm focusing on that right now.  For me, 2013 is definitely the year of refocusing, planning and moving forward.  I feel so excited and nervous about the direction I'm going.  It's exactly what I need to be doing.

On the health and fitness front, 2013 is shaping up to be a pretty big year as well.  It's the year I'm finally going to complete a full marathon! This one, in fact:

The Vermont City Marathon was featured in the January 2013 Runner's World marathon guide as being a great fast, family friendly race.  I had already registered for the marathon when the article came out, but I was excited to see that I made the right choice.  Burlington, VT is about 50 minutes away, so it's an easy race for me to get to.  

I'm already registered and the training plan is attached to my refrigerator.  I'm already a few weeks in and I'm already experiencing all of the emotions that come along with training for something new and exciting and BIG!  I'm fluctuating between complete fear and total confidence.  I'm constantly questioning how I'm going to run for 26.2 miles while simultaneously envisioning myself crossing the finish line.  But, most of all, I just keep reminding myself that each distance has seemed daunting when I first set out to conquer it.  After all, I think I was most nervous about my first 5K.

Wow...look how far I've come.

The other day, one of my facebook friends posted the following inspirational picture and I immediately shared it with others.  This is exactly how I am feeling right now.  I know it's time for me to conquer the marathon, even if many of my waking moments are spent doubting my ability to actually do so.

That's the beauty of this sport.  There are tangible results that go beyond body size or weight loss.  There's the excitement of running a new distance for the first time.  There's the feeling of fulfilment you get after completing an event that you were terrified of completing (Ragnar, anyone?).  There's the constant knowledge that if you just keep running, you'll reach a distance that at one point seemed impossible.

So, this is it.  The year that I conquer the marathon.  I'm sure I'll be talking about it a lot in this space.  I hope you don't get sick of me :)

I'm not afraid

Consistently Inconsistent.  That's me...or at least my blogging.  But, unlike before, I'm not going to fret about it.  I have lots to say, and I'm going to put it out there for you to read.  But, I can't commit to a schedule and that's OK.  Posts will appear as I have the time/energy/motivation to write them.  This is my "crazy"time at work, and I'm definitely feeling it.  Which means some of the other things in my life will receive less attention.  Since I'm not willing to allow that to be my children or husband or my own health and fitness, things like blogging and TV watching are the logical victims.  I'm still eating healthy and exercising, and I have a lot of posts half-written in my head.  Soon enough, I'll commit them to paper screen.  On the plus side, I'll have a ton of posts in October when I finally begin catching up :)

The big fitness focus right now is training for Ragnar.  I suddenly realized it is only two weeks away, and I'm starting to feel that familiar anxious feeling I get whenever an event gets close.  Do you guys get that too?  I know that I'll be able to physically do it, but I'm still a ball of nerves and anticipation.  This event is a big "out of my comfort zone" event, and I know it will result in some sort of personal growth.  But, with growth comes fear.  Honestly, I'm more worried about the in-between stuff than I am about the three runs I have to do.  I know I can handle those.  What I'm concerned about is how I will handle sharing space with six other people during the 30 hour time frame.  I don't think I have ever mentioned it on here, but I have an intense fear of other people throwing up.  I know it's weird, but it's true.  I totally panic and freak out.  So, I'm already nervous that someone in my group will get sick in the van...seriously, I'm so nervous that it is something I'm thinking about each day.  So, for me, this part of the event is much more challenging than the running part.  But, as one of my favorite people once said:

Do one thing every day that scares you

                                      -Eleanor Roosevelt

So, I'm embracing my fear and using Ragnar as an opportunity to grow.  I know there will be scary and intense moments that take me out of my comfort zone, and that's exactly what I need.  There is always opportunity for personal growth, and we need to seize those opportunities.  So, I'm seizing mine.  Let's just hope I continue to remember that as I wait for September 28th to get here.

So, what are you going to do today that scares you?

Just not feeling it...

It's been a while, hasn't it.  When I decided to start a blog last summer, I knew that it would be a big commitment.  I read a lot of blogs, and I know how annoying it can be to keep checking someone's blog only to find a post from two weeks ago.  Of course, there are always things that will cause a blogger to have to take a little hiatus, and that's completely understandable.  But, for the most part, blogging should be pretty regular.

I haven't written in almost two weeks, and I have no real reason.  Maybe it's because the semester just started at the school where I work and I spent the last two weeks cramming as much summer fun into my few remaining days as I could.  Maybe it's because after a FULL day or working and parenting, I just don't have it in me at 10pm to write something.  Or, maybe it's because I just haven't had much to say (who am I kidding...I always have something to say).  Regardless, my blogging has been pretty lackluster as of late.  Luckily, I don't really have many readers at this point (hmmm...maybe there's a correlation here), so I might actually be the only person who notices.  But, I made a commitment to blogging, and I have to get back on track.

So, rather than harp on what I haven't done, I'm going to ficus on what I can do.  I can start blogging regularly again.  I'm never going to be a once-a-day blogger.  It's too much with a full-time job and a family that needs and deserves my attention.  But, I am going to shoot for 3 times a week.  I think that's reasonable.  Sure, I could do a bunch or quick posts with three lines about what I ate or did, but that's not how I like to write. I started blogging because I love to write, so I would rather do three longer, thoughtful posts.  I can also change the design and layout of my blog to make it more appealing.  It's time to change the look around here.  And, finally, I can actually take the leap and move this blog to the new domain and make the official name change that I have been planning for quite some time. 

Let's see what happens!

Thirty-six

I turned thirty-six on Friday.  On Saturday, I ran 6.3 miles in 55:30 with an average pace of 8:49.  It was my fastest run ever.  I may be getting older, but I'm definitely not slowing down.

I know a lot of people stress about getting older, but I have to say, I'm really enjoying this age.  I feel like I have finally grown into myself, if that makes any sense.  I'm comfortable with who I am.  My twenties were fun, but my thirties are more "real."  I just feel comfortable in my own skin, which is something I didn't feel in my twenties.

Two weeks ago, one of my best friends posted pictures from her wedding on Facebook.  The wedding was ten years ago, just as I was turning 26.  When I looked at the pictures, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  Most people look back on pictures of themselves from their early to mid twenties and wish for their old bodies or their youthful faces, but I looked at that picture with disgust.  I was so unhealthy, and it showed.  I smoked, drank a lot, ate horribly and I was about 30 pounds heavier.  I just didn't look good.

When I commented on the picture, I said:

Wow! I can't say I'm happy to see this picture of myself on facebook, but since I LOVE you it's OK. At least I can say that after 10 years and two kids, I'm actually in better shape and healthier than I was that day.

That's the thing that impresses me the most.  I am in way better shape than I was ten years ago.

When I say I can't fit into jeans I wore in college, it's not because they're too small...it's because they're too big.

Getting older isn't always a bad thing!

Insanity: Week 1

Well...I survived...barely.  Seriously, Insanity is, well, INSANE!  I'm not usually a workout video person.  I tend to buy them and then I never actually do them.  But, Insanity is different.  Maybe it's because Paul is so into it, but I don't think so.  I think it's just because they're really great...in a make you cry and beg for mercy sort of way.

OK, I admit it, I have always been one of those people who watched the Insanity commercial with a lot of skepticism.  I thought it was just another fad like Tae Bo.  So, when Paul told me he wanted to get the videos, I laughed a little inside.  I mean, I can run 13 miles at a time.  How was a 35 minute video going to transform my body?  But, as is often the case, Paul was right and I was wrong.  I hate to admit it, but it's true.

Insanity is AWESOME!  The videos are really tough and I have soreness in muscles I didn't even know existed.  I'm already feeling more "firm" after just one week.  I can't wait to see how my body transforms over the next seven weeks.

So, I'm going to post an update each week.  Sunday is my rest day from the videos, so that's when I'll recap the week.  I'm going to post pictures every two weeks for comparison and give updates on my progress.

Here's week number 1!

BEFORE PICTURES:

I know I'm in great cardiovascular shape, but I have no muscle tone.  My hope is that Insanity will help me get rid of the padding and add some muscle.  (Ignore the poor quality of these pictures.  The lighting was completely off.)

 See that gut?  That's what happens when you grow two babies, especially one that is just shy of 9 pounds and 22 inches long.  It's a good thing I love them, because those two kids sure did a number on my body.



The workouts are intense.  I have never sweat so much in my life.  By the end of the workout, I'm drenched and ready to collapse.

But I'm also so happy.  I love how I feel when I finish!

So, I'm definitely an Insanity convert.  I highly recommend the videos.  I'm excited to see what the next few weeks bring.  Next Sunday, I'll have an update and progress pictures.  Stay tuned!

Insanity

Paul and I have decided to do Insanity.  You know, that fitness craze that everyone seems to be talking about.  Well, I guess it's more like the fitness craze that everyone used to talk about.  I seem to "discover" something long after everyone else has already tried and raved about it.  I did the same thing with Tae Bo.  I think I did it two years after it lost popularity.  I like to think I'm just waiting for people to try it out first and prove that it works, but it's actually that I just don't catch on as quickly.

Paul and I are both looking for something new to do that will get our bodies in shape.  As runners, we're in great cardiovascular shape, but we can both use some "toning."  Insanity isn't really a strength training program, but it is supposed to build strength.

So, we ordered it last week, and it just arrived.  I spent last night reading through all of the materials, and we're going to start it on Monday.  I'm really excited!

I am going to follow the 60 day program completely, including the nutrition plan, and I'm going to blog about my experience throughout the program.  I will post before pictures and then provide updated progress pics every two weeks.  I'm not trying to lose weight...I'm just trying to tone up.  So, the pictures will be important.

Don't worry, though, I'll make sure I blog about other things during the 60 days for those of you who have no interest in Insanity.

Lacking Motivation

I have been trying to post this week, but I just can't seem to find the time or motivation.  It's finals week at the college and even though I am a "12-month" employee, I still have a lot to do before the semester ends.  So, I have been a bit overwhelmed.  But, I have a lot of fun stuff to post, including a Mother's Day recap. So, stay tuned.  I'll be back soon!

In the meantime...here's a sneak peek...from my new camera!

A 5K PR!

Today, Paul and I participated in a local 5K.  It was a fundraiser in memory of a young woman who died in a car accident.  The family organizes it every year and uses the money to fund a scholarship in her name.  We ran last year as well.

I have been running a bit faster the past few weeks and went into the 5K hoping to finish somewhere between 27 and 28 minutes.  Lately, I have been running an average 9:03 pace on my five mile runs, with at least two or three miles in the 8:45 - 8:59 range.  So, I knew I could do it.  But, the 5K distance is tough for me.  It usually takes me at least 2 - 3 miles to really get into the groove of running.  But, I still went into the run with a goal of getting a new PR.

This was only my third 5K.  I usually stick to the longer distances.  My first 5K was three months after I started running.  I was so proud of myself for finishing the run because I had never been a runner before.  I was so nervous about being able to run the entire time and I didn't care about my finishing time at all.  I finished in 32:16.  I was so proud of myself that day!

My second 5K was this same 5K in May 2011.  I had just completed my first half marathon a few weeks prior and was feeling much more confident as a runner.  I ran with Paul, who had just started running in January.  My goal was to get him through his first 5K and finish under 30 minutes.  We finished in 29:52.

So, what was my time for today?  26:32!  I can't believe it!  I beat my goal time.  I'm so happy about my new PR and excited to see if I can get even faster.  When I look at how far I have come since I started running in July 2010, I can't help but smile.  I spent years wishing I could be a runner and I finally became one!

It's pretty simple.  All you have to do is decide that you want something and then do whatever it takes to make it happen.  Sure, sometimes it's tough and feels almost impossible, but it can be done.  Don't believe me?  Watch this video.  If this doesn't motivate and inspire you, nothing will.

Moving Around

As someone who exercises approximately 5 days a week, I feel like I move around a lot.  But, after reading Janetha's post and new challenge for the month of May, I realized that I'm actually more sedentary than I like to admit.

Sure, I exercise for about 1 hour each day...but, that's one hour out of 24!  If I look at an actual day, I spend a lot of time sitting down:

Work = 8 hours at a computer/desk or in meetings.  Sure, I walk around some, but a lot of my time is spent sitting down.

Home = After preparing dinner, we sit and eat for about 30 - 40 minutes.  Then after cleaning up, I sit with the kids and help Amelia with her homework and color/draw/write the ABC's with Ben.  After that, we relax as a family and then it's time to get the kids ready for bed.  Once they're ready, we all lay in bed together and read, and then each kid goes to bed.  I lay with Ben while he (and sometimes I) falls asleep.  After that, I head downstairs, where Paul and I clean up and pack lunches for the next day.  Then, we spend the rest of the night sitting on the couch working on our computers/talking/watching TV.  After that, we go to bed.

So, when you look at an actual day, I don't move a lot.  On the weekends we move much more because we're constantly on the go and we like to do active/physical things as a family.  But, five out of seven days, I spend a lot of time sitting.

I know it's healthy and essential to move around a lot, which is why I'm so excited about Janetha's May challenge.  Instead of getting more exercise, Janetha wants us to move more throughout the day.  Here's what she says in her post:

i want you to move more in may, too! each day, i would like you to comment on the move more in may challenge page telling me how you moved that day OUTSIDE OF YOUR OFFICIAL DAILY WORKOUT.  yes, that’s right, we aren’t counting our workouts for this challenge.  that’s the whole point—we are already moving during our workouts. this is for all the other moves of the day.  be creative. try something different.


Janetha is actually giving prizes each week, which is an added incentive! 

My plans include getting up from my desk at least once an hour and walking from my office on the 5th floor to the first floor.  I also plan to take a walk at lunch time to stretch my legs, get my blood flowing and enjoy some great conversation with co-workers I rarely see.  I also want to start walking the dog as a family in the evenings and start playing in the backyard more after dinner.  Now that's it's getting warmer and nicer, this will be very easy to do.

If you think you need to move more, head over to Janetha's blog and read about her challenge.  I think we could all add a little more movement to our days!

Plattsburgh Half Marathon: A PR and an Adventure!

So, today was the half marathon and I'm happy to report that I finished strong in spite of major calf cramping the last two miles.  This is the first half marathon I ever ran (last April), so it has a special place in my heart.   It's a great course and I just love the whole vibe of the race.   It's a local race for me, which makes it even better.

This was my third half marathon, and I have to admit that I went into this one with a lot of anxiety and self-doubt.  It's strange, because I was more nervous than I was the first time I ran a half marathon.  I finally figured out that it was because my last half marathon was a pretty awful one.  I started out strong but ended up walking most of the last mile because of severe leg cramping, and my final time was actually 9 minutes slower than my first half marathon.  So, I think I had some fear that I would have the same problems again this time.

I started out really strong this time and felt confident most of the run.  This half had a relay, so I was able to see my time at the halfway point.  When I ran through the relay exchange, the clock said 1:00:15, and I was elated.  For me, this was a fantastic time.  It meant I was actually running faster than I thought.  The second half of the run was great...until I hit mile 11.  Just like my last half, my calves started to cramp up.  I ran the last two miles with charlie horses in both of my legs.  It wasn't fun.  But, unlike last time, I made myself keep running.  I knew that if I stopped I would never start running again.  So, I reduced my speed, found my groove and just kept running.  It wasn't the most enjoyable experience, and I had to do a lot of bargaining with myself and give myself a lot of motivational talks during those last two long miles.  But, in the end, I was OK.  I didn't stop to walk and I crossed the finish line feeling strong and proud.  My time was 2:07 (still waiting for the exact chip time).  Last year, I ran the same race in 2:13:37, so this was an improvement for me.  It was also a PR!  I feel good about my results, even though I was secretly hoping to be under 2:05.  If my legs hadn't cramped the last two miles, I would have met my secret goal.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have to train better for the next one.

So, that's the first half of my post, but what is the adventure part of all this, you ask?

Well, I didn't wear my Garmin during the race.  I know this might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but it's huge for me.  I'm a bit addicted to my Garmin.  I need to use it so I can know at all times how far and fast I'm running.  Quite honestly, I think sometimes it does more harm than good.  So, since I was already feeling anxious about this run, I decided t leave my watch at home and just listen to my body.  I ran the whole 13.1 miles paying attention to the cues my body was giving me and reassured myself that I would run the half in the amount of time that my body was capable of running.  Other than the time clock at the halfway point, I had no idea how fast I was running.  It was actually really liberating.  Sometimes I become fixated on my watch and ruin my run because I put too much pressure on myself.  I really liked running without it today.  So, I think I'm going to leave it at home more often.  I'm still going to use it...just not for every run.

Missing: My Mojo

I'm in a rut.  A running rut.  I'm four weeks away from my third half marathon and I'm missing my mojo.  I know it happens from time to time.  It's not the first time I've been in a rut and I know it won't be my last time, but it's still no fun.

I LOVE running!  I mean, I really love running.  I love the feeling of running and the idea of running and everything about running.  I love when I have a bad run because it makes the good runs even better.  I love training for races and pushing myself to go farther and faster, and I love leisurely runs with friends.  Quite honestly, I don't even care how far or how fast I'm running.  I don't have dreams of becoming a competitive runner, and I don't even care about constantly getting a new PR (although that is a little fun, I have to admit).  I really just like running.

So, it's particularly frustrating when I get into these ruts.  It's not even like I suddenly hate running.  I'm just apathetic about it.  I don't have the motivation to get up from my desk and go running at lunch time.  I would rather sit here and eat these

and read these

Last Sunday, instead of going out on my 11 mile run, I just wanted to stay home and do this. 

I went, and my run was OK, but I wasn't loving it as much as I normally do.

I have read enough blogs and articles to know that these phases are normal and that they pass.  I'm not worried that I will suddenly stop being a runner.  But, I want to get through this rut so that I can feel excited to run again.  So, I'm trying to be proactive.

I'm making fun, new playlists to listen to.

I'm reminding myself that I run because I can.  Then, I force myself to think about all of the people I know who want to run and cannot because of physical limitations.

I'm making deals with myself and promising myself rewards if I make it through my run.  Chocolate works wonders for this.

I'm envisioning myself finishing the half marathon feeling strong and proud.

Hopefully, all of this will work.  I'm sure I'll get my mojo back soon.  In the meantime, I'm still lacing up my shoes and running, and that's what matters.

Question:
What do you do when you're feeling unmotivated to exercise?  How do you get your mojo back?

Learning the Ropes

So, I have this thing coming up the first weekend in August...you know, my first triathlon.  Anyway, I feel nervous and excited about the whole thing.  It's not a huge tri.  The swim is 1/2 a mile, the bike is 18 miles and the run is 4 miles.  But, it's still my first and I'm taking it very seriously.

Even though the event is still months off, I'm trying to slowly prepare for it.  I recently start swimming once a week and I'm quickly learning all the rules.  I find swimming intimidating.  Not the act of swimming.  I'm actually a pretty strong swimmer.  It's the whole public pool thing.  First of all, I'm pretty freaked out by public pools.  I think they're really gross.  But, I know that I have to use one if I'm going to train for the tri.  After all, it's still winter in Upstate NY, and I don't think a swim in the lake would be a very good idea, even if we are having unseasonably warm temperatures.  Also, I'm really intimidated by all of the other swimmers who are in the pool during lap swim time...especially when I have to share a lane with someone because it's too busy, which seems to happen a lot.  A few weeks ago I showed up at the pool and all of the lanes were in use.  It was the first time I experienced a full pool.  I didn't want to ask someone if I could share a lane, so I just turned around and went home.  Then, I stayed away from the pool for a couple of weeks.  I found reasons (excuses) not to swim.  Obviously, this won't work for me if I want to build up my swimming endurance.  So, this Saturday I went to the pool prepared to confront my fears about lane sharing.  I had a little pep talk with myself on the way there.  What, you don't talk to yourself on the way to the gym?  Oh well, I guess we all have our quirks.  When I got to the pool, all of the lanes were in use.  So, I just stood there clutching my swim cap and goggles and stared nervously at the pool.  Luckily, at that moment a woman got out.  I thought I was going to get away free and clear, but she was just getting a kick board to swim with.  I took it as my opportunity and walked up to her and asked if I could share a lane.  She smiled and said "Of course."  I felt so much better and realized it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

During my swim, I had to pay attention to her and make sure I wasn't crowding her.  At first, it felt awkward.  But, over time we got into a groove and I ended up having a really great swim.  So, I guess I can figure all of this out.  One thing is certain, the next time I go to the pool, I won't feel nervous if all of the lanes are full.

Be Strong

I work out 4 - 6 times a week and consider myself to be in pretty good shape.  After all, I can run 13.1 miles without dying.  However, while my cardiovascular health is great, my muscle tone leaves something to be desired.  Even though I exercise 4 - 6 times each week, I only do cardio.  My workouts typically involve running, elliptical, or swimming (only recently in preparation for my tirathlon). 

I actually wear the smallest size pants I have worn since I was in high school (you know, when I had an eating disorder).  I eat healthy and work hard to stay fit.  But, I'm not actually as fit as I think I am.  My body is flabby.  I have a pretty big gut as a result of two pregnancies. 

They were completely worth it!

My arms jiggle and my thighs still have a lot of "extra" on them. 

Please don't get me wrong.  I'm proud of my body.  I'm proud that it is able to maintain the demands I put on it each week.  I'm proud that it carried, birthed and nourished two children so well.  I'm proud of how I look and who I am.  But, I still feel like I need to do something about my muscules.  Not because I want to be smaller or because I want toned abs.  I want to start strength training because I want my body to be stronger.  Even though I can run for 13.1 miles, I still struggle to lift moderately heavy objects.  So, I'm going to make a committment to start strength training. 

I'm trying to decide what I actually want to do for strength training, but I have it narrowed down to the following three options:

Cross Fit
We don't have a cross fit center here, so I would have to find my own exercises online and create my own routine

Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer
This is the program Janetha raves about and it looks awesome!

Standard Gym weights
I used to do some strength training, and I always used the free weights and some of the resistance machines at the gym.  I'm considering doing this again.  We have a weight room at work and I could do some strength training on my lunch hour.

So, those are my three options.  I'm going to do a little more research before I decide for sure, but I don't want to take too long.  I need to start doing this soon!

I'm also going to start adding yoga to my exercise routine.  I think yoga will help me build muscle and reduce stress.  I have time early in the mornings, before the kids get up and start the day, so I think I'll start doing a half an hour of yoga each day.

So, that's the next phase in becoming healthier and stronger.  I'm so excited to start!

Being Mindful

Now that the CFC is over, I have been thinking about how I felt during the week and how I want to proceed from here.  If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I firmly believe in the 80/20 rule when it comes to eating (and most other things, really).  I don't think any foods should be completely banned ( unless there is an allergy).  Instead, I like to make sure I eat healthy, whole foods at least 80% of the time.  That way, I don't have to worry as much about what I'm eating the other 20% of the time.  Quite honestly, It ends up being more like 90/10.  I really LOVE healthy, whole foods and my regular diet is comprised mainly of vegetables, fruits, whole grains and beans/legumes.  However, there are times when I just want to eat something that isn't as healthy, and I don't sweat it.  I know that I'm eating well most of the time.

Since I have two kids, I really try to set a good example for them.  We don't have tons of junk food in the house and they always have vegetables as part of their meal.  I don't buy a lot of processed food and avoid the big no no's like hydrogenated oil, high fructose corn syrup and too many artificial colors/flavors.  But, my kids are in school/daycare and have a social life, so these items make their way into their diets occasionally.  Since I provide a healthy foundation at home, I don't worry about it.  I'm not extreme by any means.  I want my kids to develop healthy relationships with food and understand that there's a time and place for everything.  I want them to be mindful about what they put in their bodies.

As I reflect on the CFC, I realize that I want the same for myself.  I want to remain mindful about what I'm putting into my body.  I want to eat when I'm hungry and not just because the food is in front of me.  I want to eat sweets because I'm really in the mood for something special, and not just because my co-worker is eating M & M's in her office...or these great bakery cookies, which she brought into my office today.

I had a few bites of each and then put them away.  In the past, I probably would have ended up eating all three over the course of the afternoon.


I really want to practice mindful eating.  So, that's what I'm doing.  I'm trying to make food choices that keep me feeling as good as I felt over the past week.  I'm not eliminating anything anymore, but I am going to pay attention to how much of the "unclean" foods I'm consuming.  A few chocolate chips is one thing, but handfuls each night are a completely different story.  I need to remember to practice moderation.

But, I do have to admit that I am enjoying having the ability to eat some of the foods that I eliminated last week.  Last night, I had these for dinner and enjoyed every bite.

CFC: Days 6 & 7

I'm home from Massachusetts and almost done with the Clean Food Challenge.  Today is day 7!  I'm happy to report that, other than one specific indulgence (more on that later), I was able to stick with the CFC while traveling.  Quite honestly, it was really easy and just proves that it's not hard to eat healthy even when you're on the road and at restaurants.


I had a great time in MA, especially since I was able to shop at both Whole Foods and Trader Joe's.  We don't have either where I live.  This was actually my first time at Trader Joe's and I am completely hooked. Oh, how I wish we had one closer.  I hear one is supposed to open in Albany, NY, but that's about 2 hours south of me.  I travel there often throughout the year, so I'll be able to stock up when I go, but it's not close enough for me to do my weekly grocery shopping.


Since I have two days of CFC to report, I'm going to break it down by day:

Day Six

Breakfast:

I had the orange mango banana smoothie from Starbucks, but I asked them to make it without dairy.  I also ate some mixed nuts.  I was hoping to get oatmeal at Starbucks, but they didn't have any.  So, this is what I ended up with.  It was really good.

Lunch:

I ate this in the food court at the mall.  It's Dal Makhani from the Indian restaurant.  It was really good and contained no "unclean" ingredients.  (Oops...when I just looked this up to make sure I spelled it correctly, I realized that most recipes use butter.  So, it might not have been as clean as I thought it was.  Oh, well. There's nothing I can do about it now.)




Dinner:

This was my favorite meal of the day.  It's from the salad bar at Whole Foods!  Since they list the ingredients in each item, I was able to choose things that were allowed as part of the CFC. At the bottom is a bed of greens, and on the top is kale slaw, sesame tofu, dolmas, black bean and corn salad, quinoa, cranberry and cashew salad, edamame, shredded carrots, roasted mushrooms and eggplant, roasted garlic, hummus and a falafel.  I loved this so much and wish I could eat it every day.

I didn't really have any snacks on Day 6.  We were running around so much that we didn't have the time to eat other than when we got the above meals.

Day Seven

Breakfast:

I had another smoothie for breakfast.  We went to Trader Joe's first thing this morning and then left to come home from there.  So, we stopped at Starbucks to grab breakfast for the road.  This was a perfect option!


Lunch was really just snacks in the car.  I had a tropical Lara Bar and some tortilla chips, along with orange segments and baby carrots.  It wasn't very exciting, but it held me over.


Dinner was a huge salad with tons of veggies and beans on top.  I didn't take a picture because I had two kids crawling all over me with "welcome home" excitement.


I also snacked on some cashews and dried fruit.


So, here's the part where I have to come clean (pun intended).... 


I knew going into this challenge that I was going to be traveling during the last two days of it.  I also knew that I would be traveling with one of my girlfriends and that we would want to drink wine together in the hotel room.  I mulled it over in my head in the week and half before the challenge started, and I weighed my options.  I considered postponing the challenge, but I really wanted to do it with everyone.  I wasn't concerned about eating clean during the trip because I knew I could find plenty of healthy options, and I really liked the challenge of doing it.  But, I wasn't sure I was OK with refraining from the glass or two of wine I knew we would want to drink while hanging out in our hotel room.  So, I decided that I would let myself do whatever felt right when the time came.  I didn't bring any wine with me, but my co-worker did. We didn't have any on Friday night, but last night she decided that she wanted to have some.  We were hanging out in our hotel room and enjoying some girl time, and it just felt right.  So, I decided to have a glass.  I know it's not allowed as part of the clean food challenge, but I don't feel bad about it.  I still ate clean 100% of the time I was in MA, and I still consider the CFC a success.  So, there you have it.  I'm not going to lie about my weekend and pretend that I didn't drink the wine.  After all, this blog is a reflection of my life...real life.  

CFC: Day 3

Wow!  Today was another great day.  I can't believe the first three days have felt so good.  I'm wondering if that means the end of the challenge will be difficult.  I even went out to dinner with my family and another family and was able to stick to the challenge...oh, and we went to a pizza place!  I had no problem eating my huge, fresh salad while they all ate pizza and wings, but I do have to admit that it was tough to watch our friends enjoy their delicious beers.  I really wanted a glass of wine.  Earlier in the afternoon, I went to our local pub (it's actually modeled after a traditional pub) with my boss and two of my co-workers to celebrate the end of a stressful reaccreditation visit (oh the joys of higher education).  I drank water while they all enjoyed wine and mixed drinks.  It was pretty difficult.  I'm surprised that alcohol has been my weak spot this time around.  I mean, I do love wine, but I don't drink it every day (I usually drink it on the weekends).  So, I didn't expect to notice it missing from my life this week, but I do.

Here are my eats for the day:

Breakfast:  Surprise!  Overnight oats again.  I really just love this.  Today I changed it up a bit and topped the oats with blueberries instead of raspberries

Lunch:  Huge salad with tons of fresh veggies and chick peas

Dinner:  Another huge salad

Snacks: raisins and almonds, banana, brown rice cake with hummus (I allow myself to eat rice cakes because they are only puffed rice and salt, but some consider them processed and don't allow them), dried cherries, cashews, Lara balls

I'm not usually a banana eater, but I really enjoyed the one I ate today.

I'm pretty happy with my meals for the day, but I feel like I needed more with my dinner.  We were originally supposed to go to UNO because they were donating 20% of each meal purchase to help fund a local children's museum that is in the process of being established.  I had already looked at the menu online and selected the chopped power salad (minus the chicken and feta) and the farro salad. I knew that would be enough to satisfy me.  But, the wait time was 45 minutes because of the size of our party, and we knew that the five kids with us, which included a one year old and a two year old, would never hold it together that long.  So, we decided to go somewhere else.  Since we went to a pizza place, my choices were limited.  Most of the salads had meat and cheese on them, so I ordered a large garden salad.  It was delicious and full of tons of different veggies, but it didn't have much staying power.

So, I'm almost halfway through the challenge and I'm feeling pretty good.  I'm hoping the second of the challenge goes just as well.  I'm wondering if it will be difficult to stick to it while I'm on my girl's weekend in Boston.

CFC: Day 2

What a great day!  Having done this challenge before, I know that there are good days and bad days.  There are days that I embrace the challenge and feel healthy and strong.  Then, there are days that I feel grumpy and frustrated.  Well, today was one of the good days.  I felt great eating my healthy food throughout the day and got excited about all of my yummy treats and meals.  I had a fabulous lunchtime run (4 miles) and felt energized the rest of the day.  It's days like today that make me realize how important it is to eat healthy as much as possible.  Trust me, I firmly believe there is room in every eating plan for some of these (my kryptonite):

But, I also realize each time I do one of these clean food challenges that I just feel better when I eat healthy, whole foods.  I know that some of my fellow CFCers are having similar revelations today.  For their experiences, check out Emilie's blog.

I do have to admit that I had one rough moment this afternoon.  At about 2pm today, after a chaotic and stressful morning at work, my colleague offered me some M & M's.  Any other week I would have scarfed them up, but this time I politely refused. I felt good about it, but I did find myself longing for those little nuggets of chocolaty goodness.

So, here's a rundown of what I ate today:

Breakfast - The same oats as yesterday (no picture necessary)

Lunch - A huge salad and a sweet potato (no picture because I was so hungry that I ate it and then remembered that I wanted to take a picture)

Dinner:  Mama Pea's Spanish Quinoa and cut up veggies.  I can't post a link to the recipe because she doesn't have it on her website.  But she does have it in her wonderful cookbook.  I highly recommend you buy it.


















(Wow...look how scratched my dining room table is!)

Snacks - Angela's Endurance Crackers, fresh mango, almonds, cashews, raisins, carrot sticks, cucumbers, snap peas, Lara balls (real recipe with instructions coming soon)

So, it was a day of great food and good vibes.  I'm feeling so good this time around.  I'm wondering if the whole challenge will feel good, or if I'll have one of those dreaded bad days eventually.

CFC: Day 1

WOO HOO!  One day down, six to go.  Today was a great first day of the challenge.  I had a bunch of healthy, whole food to keep me satisfied throughout the day and I'm sitting here at 9:45 pm feeling very full and satisfied.  OK, I would be lying if I didn't admit that there were some moments throughout today that I was really tempted by some of the foods that aren't "allowed," but I was able to get through the weak moments pretty easily.  My worst point was tonight at dinner.  We had yummy homemade lentil soup, and Paul and the kids were eating bread and/or grilled cheese sandwiches on the side.  I LOVE eating a hunk of bread with soup, and I also love grilled cheese.

It was tough staring at this

While I was eating this

My eats for the day included:

Breakfast - Overnight oats with almond milk, maple syrup and raspberries

Lunch - A huge salad with tons of fresh veggies (no picture because I had to eat it quickly between meetings)

Dinner - Lentil soup

Snacks - almonds and raisins, fresh mango, homemade Lara balls (walnuts, dates and cocoa powder blended together in the food processor and rolled into balls), carrot sticks and cucumbers

Water - approximately 90 ounces (not quite enough but I plan to do better tomorrow)

Tonight I made Angela's Endurance Crackers to eat throughout the week.  I tasted a few after they came out of the oven and I think they'll be a great snack to help me get through the week.

I remember from the last time that day 2 and 3 tend to be the most difficult, so I'm hoping tomorrow isn't too bad.  I have some delicious food packed to eat at work tomorrow and I have a great dinner planned, so I should be fine.  I just have to remember that handfuls of chocolate chips aren't good to eat every day...or are they?

I'm Ready to Get Clean!

OK, so tomorrow is the day I start the Clean Food Challenge.  This will be my third time doing it, but only my second time doing it as part of an organized group.  The first time I participated was in June, which is also when I started this blog.  I love this challenge, and I might have nagged Emilie a little bit to organize another one.  After weeks (OK, really months) of not eating as healthy as I should - I guess this is where I should admit that my attempt to go sugar-free was a complete flop - I am in desperate need of a clean food challenge.  I feel bloated, sluggish and just generally yucky.  My pants are snug, my skin is a mess, and I am on edge most of the time.  Sure, some of it is because of work stress and general life stuff, but a lot of it is because I have been overdoing it with handfuls of chocolate chips at night (what, you don't eat handfuls of chocolate chips at night as a snack?) and the random snacking on chips and cheese sticks and my kids cheddar bunnies.  As someone who prides myself on my healthy diet, this isn't really a great way to function. Honestly, how can I be a healthy living blogger if I'm not practicing what I preach.  Just to clarify, I totally believe in living a healthy, balanced life which includes the occasional indulgences.  I'm not an extremist when it comes to what I eat.  I have no problem eating the occasional bag of Doritos or Taco Bell bean and cheese burrito.  After all, I subscribe to the 80/20 rule.  Unfortunately, in the past few months, this has been more like the 50/50 rule, which I'm not comfortable with.

So, in an attempt to get myself back on track, I'm committing to the Clean Food Challenge for one week.  What does this mean?  It means that I can't consume dairy, sugar, gluten, processed foods or alcohol.  I will only eat clean foods (i.e. whole foods), and I will drink 120 ounces of water each day.  Some people cut out coffee, but that's not an option for me.  I fear for my husband and children if I don't have coffee in my system.  After all, cutting out wine is hard enough.

This challenge is going to be especially challenging because I am going to Boston with my friend next weekend (Friday - Sunday).  It's going to be just the two of us, which means two days of me time.  No kids, no work, no responsibilities.  I love Boston and all it has to offer (especially the food), and I really think it's going to be fun to experience it while I'm participating in the clean food challenge.  I will have to try to find healthy food places to visit that will allow me to stick to the challenge while still enjoying yummy food.  We're planning to visit Whole Foods and Trader Joe's (sadly, my town doesn't have either) while we're there, so I'm sure I'll be fine.

So, tomorrow will be day one of the challenge.  I will blog about my experience each day with recaps of what I'm eating and how I feel.  I'm excited for tomorrow, but today I enjoyed these.  

Don't let the fruit deceive you.  There was a lot of chocolate frozen yogurt underneath it.

I know I can have them again in a week, but it was still a nice way to end my phase of gluttony and get ready to clean up my act.